Week 3 : Managing Expectations

"The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way" - Robert Kiyosaki

With thoughts of ‘our’ sunsoaked ice cap still fresh in our minds, My fellow TLs and I met with our mentor amidst the Glum faces and despondent demeanours of base camp. In the absence of further ice cap travel in the foreseeable future we had to re-arrange our plans as a group. Thus we received another lesson in on the recurring theme of our expedition leader training: Rolling with the punches.  Throughout our trip it became apparent that at all times when leading in an expedition context having the flexibility to abandon plans A through G  at a moments notice in order to make a new plan is a skill of paramount importance. With some amongst us still suffering with the injuries from the previous weeks and an advance base camp on the ice cap loaded with supplies and tents which were no use to man nor beast where they were, our original roster for our first week working with the Young Explorers (YEs) was subject to changes. The new plan resulted in some people returning to the ice cap with the tent rescue party, others remaining at base camp and still more of us heading out to various new locations with YEs to find adventure in the absence of the ice cap. 

 It was someones unenviable task to chase the storm battered remains of this beast 

around the ice cap.

I was going to get my first chance to work with the YEs this week and I couldn’t wait, although Id have to. They were heading out straight away and I still had umpteen thousand filthy socks and other bits and pieces to corral and clean and re-pack after our week away on the ice. So the (Gnarly Gnarly) Otters and their leaders set off for the Nůvvavum peninsular to the north west of base camp leaving us to our washerwoman inspired beating of socks on rocks. Me, the TL mentor and three other TLs were to set off to follow them the next morning. So I scrubbed and washed and soaked and cleaned, and eventually came to the realisation that on exped cleanliness is relative, and though my socks still wiffed faintly and looked as though they might up and walk them selves out of my tent at a moments notice, I could at last bear to be in the same tent as them, so that would do. The following morning dawned and I eagerly packed up ready to head off the 7k to the peninsular where we would be spending the rest of the week. For a short walk it  was not without its excitement. First after reaching the end of the ‘road’ we set off cross-country and up a neighbouring valley to find a river crossing site. Despite its relative proximity this valley was fascinatingly different, it was, as our geomorphologist informed us a former glacial lake which had broken fourth from its headwall and drained at some point this meant that in comparison to our ‘home’ valley it was relatively wet at seemingly fertile, extensive dwarf birch forests amongst the wetland and lakes. 

The neighboring valley.

As we climbed higher up the valley towards a gorge of the river, the land dried out and we started searching for a safe place to cross. Insert calamity no.1, some of our group were less confident in and around water and so I eagerly volunteered to help our TL mentor scout out some crossings and then get people safely across. In my eagerness to prove my competence (coupled with my eagerness to get in the water as any member of my family will attest) I hurried in to plant myself firmly up to my waist so that I could help my colleagues across moments later our mentor came across to put my pack on the further bank for me. As I helped her past me I spotted, firmly attached to the outside of my bag the lightweight fast drying pair of trainers which I had packed specifically for river crossings. I looked down and there, thoroughly submersed and fully soaking wet beneath the water where my feet, wearing heavy, leather gore-tex line B2 mountaineering boots….. Nightmare.

So we all got a cross and I soldiered on with now sodden feet feeling a prize idiot.  On the way back down the valley however we encountered calamity number 2. One of our group who had just been forced to miss out on the ice cap week due to an injured ankle , re-injured the ankle on the uneven terrain. This required evacuation to base camp. The evacuation came in the form of the chief scientist detouring the day’s oceanography study to pick up the injured party by boat. SO after waiting by the fjord side for a while and trying desperately to dry my socks out, we left minus one member of our crew to meet up with the others you on the peninsular. When I got there I was both pleased and surprised to meet a group of YEs with huge grins and excited attitudes.

Given that 36hrs before I had seen tears and anger from a number amongst the expedition I was not expecting to be greeted so warmly by the group. But to their credit (and I dare say that of the leaders who managed to keep them bus) the group was boyant and eager to investigate their ‘paintpot’ valley. 

 Home sweet home, the Otter's den !

Our sun-soaked little corner of norway, 'Paintpot valley'

Over the next week I would come to know all of the group better. They taught me to fish (although I was very unsuccessful) they taught me the words to their ‘marching’ song ‘the gnarly gnarly otters’ and above all they taught me (although I’m not sure they new it) a huge amount about leadership in an expedition context. Simply by working with them I learned a lot about myself, about where I am successful in leadership, and where I am less so, areas to work on and which habits to maintain and which to see off rapidly. Above all by watching their interation with their leaders and the other TLs who were working with otter fire and other fires, I learned that as a leader, you must never assume the respect of the people you are leading. With all the experience in the world and 15 everest summits under your belt if you neglect to give a group the time and attention they desire, or if they become aware of your weaknesses or shortcomings, then even the (seemingly) nicest group of people can turn on a person. 

Learning invaluable lessons from a seasoned and accomplished outdoor leader.

As well as learning through experience with the YEs, I was very lucky in that Otter Fire had a most excellent leader team. Comprised of the Deputy chief leader and the Chief scientist, there was no shortage of experience or expertise, and I was very fortunate to get to work with them both and learn a lot from each of them. The DCL, is a seasoned outdoors man, bushcraft instructor and serving member of the RAF, so I managed to glean, by watching him working with the YEs, Brilliant methods for taking the more military style of leadership that I learned working with the Air Cadets, and tweak those skills to apply them in a civilian context. as a Mountain Leader, Winter ML and soon to be international ML he also had an encyclopedic knowledge of knots and practical outdoor skills to teach. The Chief Scientist has spent years working as a career, outdoor science teacher, taking young people on exciting but none the less scientific, trips into Scotland's wild places. In essence my dream job which I was previously un-aware of the real world existence of. From him I learned about the variety of exciting options opened to me, asd well as some invaluable tips about delivering scientific teaching in an outdoor context, and keeping a groups focus when you are literally surrounded by distractions. Two fascinating and thoroughly inspirational outdoor leaders whom I feel privileged to have worked with.

A pretty epic place to study science and have adventures

Our Job as TLs was made particularly difficult by our relative closeness in age to the YEs (some YEs were older than a few members of the TL group) without the bonus of respect through seniority in years, I witnessed particular members of the TL programme struggle to earn the respect of the YEs and others who earned too much of their ‘respect’ and became overly friendly  rather than acting as ‘leaders’ during this time. and I hope I managed to learn from their short comings and treat the group with a mutual respect that indicated to them that my intentions were honest and despite our closeness in age that I had earned my place as their ‘leader’ (although I actually found that by establishing a careful balance between being their equal and being ‘in-charge’ as it were, I managed to get the best out of the group[I hope]).

All in all I was simply thrilled to spend an exciting week in a fascinating place, getting to work with a thoroughly Excellent group of young people who most certainly handles their disappointment with grace and a brilliant attitude.

I leave you with the view out too sea from my humble Bivvi Bedroom.

Week 2: A certain sense of satisfaction in being shattered

'I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom' - Thomas Carlyle 

The second week of our expedition was one of the more difficult in terms of physical exertion. A combination of the sheer physicality of the activities and my fitness being lower than some within our group, left me, on most evenings well and truly worn out. However I have found the feeling of complete physical exhaustion to be very rewarding. As strange as it may sound (indeed if you had said it to me six months ago I would have laughed in your face) the knowledge that your exhaustion was hard earned brings one a certain tranquil sense of satisfaction that that it is difficult to find elsewhere.

An early night (photo by Moya Macdonald)

This week was certainly not lacking in this feeling. It began with the arrival of the Young Explorers (YEs) on an ominously misty day. As they emerged from the mists like the undead in a low budget horror film it was great to feel the growing sense of purpose buzzing about Base Camp.  They were after all the reason we were all there. It was also refreshing to re-engage with the ecitement of discovering the area for the first time. After a week at BC it was already feeling like home in our little shanty town. The YEs however arrived Fresh-faced and wide-eyed into the surroundings we had come to be somewhat blase about. THis was the first time I came to encounter the enjoyment that one can get simply from the enjoyment of others. As I would learn over the coming weeks this is a key part of expedition leadership. I experienced this phenomenon from the other side during this second week as I will divulge soon.Shortly After the YEs arrived we found out that we (the trainee leaders [TLs]) would be travelling around the ice cap. This would reduce the over crowding at BC whilst the YEs settled in and allow us to hone our ice skills before hopefully returning with the YEs in the near future. 

Home from Home

So the TLs were attached to a crack team of leaders and sent of on our merry way to have adventures atop the ice. We had our grizzled and indomitable Chief leader (they say that whilst we merely adopted the ice he was born of it, Molded from it), Our man of the mountains 'Gandalf', Our ice cap GP Dr 'Doc' and last but by no means least the poor soul who had to take responsibility for our sorry team of reprobates, the TL mentor 'H'. And I learned different things about leadership from each of them. I saw the Chief Leader turn from serious and thoughtful to excited and adventurous as situations required and it was great to see how important it is to be able to vary ones approach to leadership. I also realised that even in the lofty heights of chief leadership one must never forget the thrill of exploration and adventure as see through the eyes of your charges. Next our mountain man 'Gandalf' To compare him to an encyclopedia is to give significant and unjustified credit to the encyclopedia and the quantity of knowledge there in. It was fascinating to work with a man with such an extensive and all encompassing knowledge of the outdoors. From technical skills to meteorolgy, botany folklore and everything inbetween, a day on the hill with our 'Gandalf' should be on everyones bucket list. Dr 'Doc' was a walking talking lesson in the importance of maintaining morale. Coming from a military background I'm sure Doc has had to keep chins up in significantly more difficult situations than ours. However Be it some lunacy at the end of a long day, a song to keep heavy feet trudging or just a well timed and seemingly heartfelt compliment or comment on your effort in X Y or Z task I realised how easily you as a superior can bolster the moods of others. Finally from 'H' our poor embattled mentor, I learned not to work with us, as a group we were self important to the point of insolence and over excited bordering on hysterical for such a significant period of time that I fear if we had spent 24 more hours  longer on the ice cap 'H' may have run off into the wilds of Norway and lived in a commune with mooses (is it meese?).

Dr Doc was keen to tell anyone who would listen about his massive..... fish

Over the course of the five days on the Ice we traveled from nunatak* to nunatak  bivving out under the midnight sun. WE were gifted with wall to wall blue skies and blissful warmth for 4.5 of the 5 days. I must say that the time we spent up there was one of the most truly fascinating times of my life. Seeing and engaging with a completely alien landscape for me as well as learning so much about leadership. As previously stated I spent plenty of time pooped out by the physical (and mental exhaustion) from climbing, walking dragging sledges, picking up fallen sledges, cursing at sledges, giving up on sledges, and generally having a good time. We scrambled up rocky pinnacles, tramped over rolling Icy 'hills' and even fell in the odd crevasse (it certainly keeps you on your toes) before finally having to confront the sad reality of coming down. As ever I had my Gnome and my Dwarf to pick me up mentally when I was getting low, and In this time in particular their company was invaluable to me. As partners in lunacy, anchors for my sanity and generally great bivvi pals I couldn't have wished for a better pair (if only the Home Bird had been able to come to the 4 amigos would have been complete).

Me, Dwarf and Gnome Bivving at Loppy-toppy (Loppatinden)

 (photograph by Nathan Magnall)

The final day dawned foggy as we packed up our gear and prepared for the hopefully speedy trek down. It became very quickly apparent however that we were going to pay the price for 5 days of unseasonal warmth and sun. The snow that previously covered the glacier and made the crevasse fields navigable had ablated. Leaving our Chief leader with the unenviable task of leading 16 people off the ice amongst large crevasses in a fog that only gave brief glimpses of the people on the front of your rope team let alone anything else. it was a slow paced, but hugely exhilarating as we nervously threaded our way along sometimes 1 person wide ridges between plunging crevasses either side. I was treated  to one of the most terrifying moments of my life when a certain TL, with a penchant for DOD-gy beanie hats, who was on the rope team behind mine, came hurtling past me down the slope. Given that I was in no way connected to him and their was nothing I could do naught but watch and hope I looked on in fear as he slid to what I assumed was his inevitable icy demise It was all I could hope that someone stopped him before the other three on his rope followed. Gratefully he found his way into a blissfully shallow divet in the ice some 6 meters down slope of me and came to a rest in there before springing up and carrying on as though it were nothing. 

Eventually, slowly we made it down and despite tired legs and my clumsy nature leading to some frustration on my behalf we continued our way to mountain camp. Here where we were briefly briefed on the fact that the glacier was no longer safe to travel on. Only for the fact we had to travel down that day no body would have been on the ice in the condition it was in. Which lead to the horrible situation of bumping into/ greeting YEs with wide eyes heading up to mountain camp with minds set on getting up the ice and having to nod and smile along not wanting to let on anything before a full brief as given my the Chief leader that evening (a task which some in our group seemed to struggle with, a little to eager to be in possesion of 'classified' information and not really considering its effects on 'hearts & minds'). We stood spread amongst the leader team facing the YEs at that briefing which did come, and it was the single worst bit of the trip watching their faces as they were given the bad news. I felt truly guilty for the fantastic time I had shared with the TLs on the ice. Many people retired early and tears were shed by the disappointed young people. A real low point for me.

 A joy I was very disappointed not to share with the YEs

* Nunataks are the peaks that emerge from the ice.