'I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom' - Thomas Carlyle
The second week of our expedition was one of the more difficult in terms of physical exertion. A combination of the sheer physicality of the activities and my fitness being lower than some within our group, left me, on most evenings well and truly worn out. However I have found the feeling of complete physical exhaustion to be very rewarding. As strange as it may sound (indeed if you had said it to me six months ago I would have laughed in your face) the knowledge that your exhaustion was hard earned brings one a certain tranquil sense of satisfaction that that it is difficult to find elsewhere.
An early night (photo by Moya Macdonald)
This week was certainly not lacking in this feeling. It began with the arrival of the Young Explorers (YEs) on an ominously misty day. As they emerged from the mists like the undead in a low budget horror film it was great to feel the growing sense of purpose buzzing about Base Camp. They were after all the reason we were all there. It was also refreshing to re-engage with the ecitement of discovering the area for the first time. After a week at BC it was already feeling like home in our little shanty town. The YEs however arrived Fresh-faced and wide-eyed into the surroundings we had come to be somewhat blase about. THis was the first time I came to encounter the enjoyment that one can get simply from the enjoyment of others. As I would learn over the coming weeks this is a key part of expedition leadership. I experienced this phenomenon from the other side during this second week as I will divulge soon.Shortly After the YEs arrived we found out that we (the trainee leaders [TLs]) would be travelling around the ice cap. This would reduce the over crowding at BC whilst the YEs settled in and allow us to hone our ice skills before hopefully returning with the YEs in the near future.
Home from Home
So the TLs were attached to a crack team of leaders and sent of on our merry way to have adventures atop the ice. We had our grizzled and indomitable Chief leader (they say that whilst we merely adopted the ice he was born of it, Molded from it), Our man of the mountains 'Gandalf', Our ice cap GP Dr 'Doc' and last but by no means least the poor soul who had to take responsibility for our sorry team of reprobates, the TL mentor 'H'. And I learned different things about leadership from each of them. I saw the Chief Leader turn from serious and thoughtful to excited and adventurous as situations required and it was great to see how important it is to be able to vary ones approach to leadership. I also realised that even in the lofty heights of chief leadership one must never forget the thrill of exploration and adventure as see through the eyes of your charges. Next our mountain man 'Gandalf' To compare him to an encyclopedia is to give significant and unjustified credit to the encyclopedia and the quantity of knowledge there in. It was fascinating to work with a man with such an extensive and all encompassing knowledge of the outdoors. From technical skills to meteorolgy, botany folklore and everything inbetween, a day on the hill with our 'Gandalf' should be on everyones bucket list. Dr 'Doc' was a walking talking lesson in the importance of maintaining morale. Coming from a military background I'm sure Doc has had to keep chins up in significantly more difficult situations than ours. However Be it some lunacy at the end of a long day, a song to keep heavy feet trudging or just a well timed and seemingly heartfelt compliment or comment on your effort in X Y or Z task I realised how easily you as a superior can bolster the moods of others. Finally from 'H' our poor embattled mentor, I learned not to work with us, as a group we were self important to the point of insolence and over excited bordering on hysterical for such a significant period of time that I fear if we had spent 24 more hours longer on the ice cap 'H' may have run off into the wilds of Norway and lived in a commune with mooses (is it meese?).
Dr Doc was keen to tell anyone who would listen about his massive..... fish
Over the course of the five days on the Ice we traveled from nunatak* to nunatak bivving out under the midnight sun. WE were gifted with wall to wall blue skies and blissful warmth for 4.5 of the 5 days. I must say that the time we spent up there was one of the most truly fascinating times of my life. Seeing and engaging with a completely alien landscape for me as well as learning so much about leadership. As previously stated I spent plenty of time pooped out by the physical (and mental exhaustion) from climbing, walking dragging sledges, picking up fallen sledges, cursing at sledges, giving up on sledges, and generally having a good time. We scrambled up rocky pinnacles, tramped over rolling Icy 'hills' and even fell in the odd crevasse (it certainly keeps you on your toes) before finally having to confront the sad reality of coming down. As ever I had my Gnome and my Dwarf to pick me up mentally when I was getting low, and In this time in particular their company was invaluable to me. As partners in lunacy, anchors for my sanity and generally great bivvi pals I couldn't have wished for a better pair (if only the Home Bird had been able to come to the 4 amigos would have been complete).
Me, Dwarf and Gnome Bivving at Loppy-toppy (Loppatinden)
(photograph by Nathan Magnall)
The final day dawned foggy as we packed up our gear and prepared for the hopefully speedy trek down. It became very quickly apparent however that we were going to pay the price for 5 days of unseasonal warmth and sun. The snow that previously covered the glacier and made the crevasse fields navigable had ablated. Leaving our Chief leader with the unenviable task of leading 16 people off the ice amongst large crevasses in a fog that only gave brief glimpses of the people on the front of your rope team let alone anything else. it was a slow paced, but hugely exhilarating as we nervously threaded our way along sometimes 1 person wide ridges between plunging crevasses either side. I was treated to one of the most terrifying moments of my life when a certain TL, with a penchant for DOD-gy beanie hats, who was on the rope team behind mine, came hurtling past me down the slope. Given that I was in no way connected to him and their was nothing I could do naught but watch and hope I looked on in fear as he slid to what I assumed was his inevitable icy demise It was all I could hope that someone stopped him before the other three on his rope followed. Gratefully he found his way into a blissfully shallow divet in the ice some 6 meters down slope of me and came to a rest in there before springing up and carrying on as though it were nothing.
Eventually, slowly we made it down and despite tired legs and my clumsy nature leading to some frustration on my behalf we continued our way to mountain camp. Here where we were briefly briefed on the fact that the glacier was no longer safe to travel on. Only for the fact we had to travel down that day no body would have been on the ice in the condition it was in. Which lead to the horrible situation of bumping into/ greeting YEs with wide eyes heading up to mountain camp with minds set on getting up the ice and having to nod and smile along not wanting to let on anything before a full brief as given my the Chief leader that evening (a task which some in our group seemed to struggle with, a little to eager to be in possesion of 'classified' information and not really considering its effects on 'hearts & minds'). We stood spread amongst the leader team facing the YEs at that briefing which did come, and it was the single worst bit of the trip watching their faces as they were given the bad news. I felt truly guilty for the fantastic time I had shared with the TLs on the ice. Many people retired early and tears were shed by the disappointed young people. A real low point for me.
A joy I was very disappointed not to share with the YEs
* Nunataks are the peaks that emerge from the ice.
